March 2017 Newsletter
"Alternative Facts" are an interesting concept. When I was a lad in school (which naturally I walked to, 2 hours, uphill both ways, barefoot in the snow) they were actually called "Tall Tales", "Lies" or "Fiction". Alas, it's becoming increasingly common for people to invent their own version of reality, and it's not just confined to politicians.
There are a number of "Alternative Fact" coffee products currently available, and they seem to be proliferating. The oldest of these is Green Coffee Extract, basically what you get when you mince green beans (they don't grind too well) and soak or boil them in water. The extract is promoted as a weight loss supplement. I'm pretty sure it works if you can put up with the caffeine jitters and the chlorogenic acid diarrhoea, but I don't think laxatives are generally recommended for weight loss.
The next product was conceived more as a marketing "hook" than anything else. Again, it's supposed to be part of a "Diet Revolution" and this time the claim is that replacing your breakfast with a cup of extra special coffee blended with selected fats (butter and coconut oil) will help you lose weight. The rest of the diet is high protein/high fat/low carb so basically a rework of the Atkins diet.
The "hook" is the extra-special coffee, supposedly free of nasty fungal toxins called mycotoxins, which of course means that every other coffee in the world must contain these toxins. Which also justifies the exceptionally high price of the special coffee.
This is indeed a venture into the realm of alternative facts. The truth is that we live in a world surrounded by fungi and their toxins, but the concentrations are so small and our immune systems so efficient that most of them have no effect, as anyone who survived a uni share house bathroom, fridge and sofa can attest. The other truth is that most properly processed coffees don't have detectable mycotoxins, and specialty coffees have by definition been properly processed.
The latest bout of reality alteration comes via yet another American coffee roaster. Having apparently visited Bali and seen local village level coffee processing (he calls it "unwashed" but it was almost certainly Giling Basah) he has decided that unwashed coffee is subject to all sorts of ills, poisons, dirt and toxins. Of course, his "specially washed" coffee is guaranteed to make you brighter and healthier than nasty unwashed coffee.
This really reflects a profound ignorance of actual coffee processing techniques and the effect of roasting at over 200C. A washed coffee has simply had the fruit part of the coffee cherry fermented away in water. An unwashed coffee can have the fruit dried in the cherry then removed, or mechanically scrubbed away, or left to dry on the surface of the bean and removed with the silverskin. The last is the "Honey" or "Miel" process that makes such flavourful coffees, including this month's special.
Colombia Esperanza Red Honey Bourbon
$66.00/kg
This is almost certainly the best coffee we'll have this year. It has an initial jasmine and honey aroma. With a superb balance of fruit, acid, candy sweetness and full malty finish it rates a 95 cupping score.
Of course, if it makes you feel unhealthy, it's not the coffee's fault, it's just that your cup has bad cosmic vibes, and for $199.99 plus P&H we can sell you a cosmically aligned cup guaranteed to cure....
Until next month
Alan
